Want to try a Couples Retreat, but not sure how to invite your partner? You're in the right place.
The four main reasons why people hesitate to invite their partner to try a Couples Retreat are:
It makes underlying relationship issues more real
You’re forced to take responsibility for your side
You haven’t expressed concerns to your partner yet
You think your partner won’t want to, so why try
Do any of these describe you or your partner? If so, read on below.
91% of attendees feel
more emotionally connected
1. Are you hesitant to invite your partner because it’ll make issues more real?
If so, consider this: on average, most couples don’t do therapy for 6 years after noticing a problem. And by then, it’s oftentimes too late to save the marriage.
Reflection: Visualize what you want your marriage to look like in 6 years. What do you see? What changed? Can you take one tiny step right now by inviting your partner to this event?
2. Does taking responsibility for your side of the issue make you anxious?
If so, remember that research shows that taking responsibility for your own actions makes your partner far more likely to take responsibility, too. And it’s one of the key factors in forgiveness.
Keep in mind that we designed this event to help both of you take responsibility for your relationship.
Reflection: What would happen if you told your partner you were sorry for something? How would they react? Do you think they’d be more likely to discuss the topic with you and work towards a solution? What if you said that this event is the easiest way to get on the same page?
3. Are you hesitant because you haven’t told your partner about your feelings yet?
That’s totally understandable.
Every couple goes through good seasons and bad seasons and struggles to have vulnerable conversations at first. Sometimes, you just need the right reason or the right tool to begin talking through your thoughts and feelings.
Reflection: What if you simply asked your partner to set aside 5 minutes to talk about how this event might improve your relationship? And what if you told them it’d mean the world to you if they did that?
4. Do you think your partner won’t want to try this event, so why even bother asking?
That’s a tough one, but for the moment, give your partner the benefit of the doubt.
It’s very common for one partner to think that the other will react negatively when they ask them to join a Couples Retreat. But when our users build up the courage to ask, they’re often surprised by their partner’s willingness to join.
It’s a universal human longing to connect deeply with another. Expressing your feelings to your partner—gently, lovingly, and reassuringly—could be the prompt your partner needs to share back.
Reflection: How would your partner respond if you gently, with all the love in the world, told them how much you’d love to work on your relationship together?
Lastly, have you already asked your partner to attend, but they said no?
If this is you, then we’d ask you to do some homework. Write out why you’d like to try a Couples Retreat (for yourself), and then initiate a discussion (very lovingly) with your partner. This sounds something like:
“Honey, I love you. And I love us. But lately, I’ve been feeling (X), and I’m in need of more (Y). I think this event could help us reach this together. What do you think?”
While you’re at it, ask your partner what they’d like more of in the relationship, too. Maybe they’re yearning for something more, and you’re just not aware of it. This is very common. Regardless of what they say, prepare yourself to welcome it, and try as hard as you can not to be defensive. This is the process of vulnerability beginning.
See you soon.